The Abusive Relationship

Meredith Miller interview with Dr Reiner Füllmich and Dr Viviane Fischer. Talk about the psychology of “the government’s abusive relationship”: [239]

Dr Fischer: We are looking here at abuse dynamics. “My body, my choice”. Everyone should respect the limits of the other. Physical and psychological limits. And all of a sudden, all of that is gone. The government is forcing you to do things you don’t want. There’s social coercion (from neighbours) too.
Ms Miller: We are going from the “micro” to the “macro” example. In the micro example there are the individuals in their abusive relationship. As we move from the micro to the macro, we see systems forming: families, workplaces, organisations, social groups, and society at large. And we see the same patterns, from the individual to the macro. The system takes greater characteristics, because it is greater than the sum of its parts. We can see the appearance of the same patterns of abuse.
“Cognitive dissonance”: the individuals don’t want to recognise that the system is abusing them, even when evidence, facts, logic are presented to them. Because the evidence creates a deep mental conflict with what they want to believe. It is irreconcilable. The primitive parts of the brain (not the logical) goes into denial. It’s like a short-circuit in an electrical system. This keeps people stuck in abusive relationships. They can’t see the truth. For them to come out of that, they need a shocking event that pierces their denial. And the truth becomes a visceral experience, not logical or intellectual. People want to believe that the government wants the best for them.
Even look at terminology, the abuse of language, since 2020, since this hypnotic induction began, this trance. Words like “social distancing”. This phrase in itself elicits cognitive dissonance because these two words are complete opposites. “Social” means “connection”, means “safe” to the mammalian brain. “Distancing” is the exact opposite. It’s not social, it makes us feel unsafe. When you put these two words together, the brain enters into short-circuit, into denial. It becomes very difficult to think when we are in that state.
Dr Füllmich: Unless you question what’s going on. Right?
Ms Miller: Correct, but that’s very difficult in that state. They have moments of lucidity. What you see in an abuse victim, is that they go in and out between truth and fantasy. They have moments when they can see it, but it’s so uncomfortable that the brain short-circuits back into denial. Until they get to that point that something so shocking happens.
And maybe we are nearing that point in the world, maybe crisis upon crisis upon crisis, we’re getting to the point that they start chaining: the supply chain, the food, the energy, all happening at once. It may be that more people start to wake up, as the crisis pierces their denial.
Dr Füllmich: Vera Sharav spoke about euphemisms. People in this state cannot see that it doesn’t make any sense.
Ms Miller: Right. The person in state of denial doesn’t have access to the neo-cortex, the logical brain. It comes back to the primal brain, which is concerned with survival. So they listen to the propaganda, to the repeated language that tells them what’s “safe”, which is the exact opposite of safe.
Dr Fischer: Could it be that people develop a kind of “Stockholm syndrome” relationship? (when the victim develops an emotional attachment to the perpetrator of the crime) Some people are even defending the governments, seeing them as their “heroes”.
Ms Miller: Yes. It’s actually the abuse cycle. There are two phases in the abuse cycle:
- (1) “love-bonding”, doesn’t need to have love involved: it could be someone giving you gifts, paying you, sending you “economic-stimulus” money, or providing free food, or just telling “we want the best for you”, “your health matters”, “we want to help”.
- The other aspect is (2) “the devaluation”: “you’re dirty”, “you’re sick”, “you’re dangerous”, “you’re putting people at risk”.
- They go back and forth between the two. “Love-bonding” could be the temporary absence of abuse. The abuser acknowledges they have gone a bit too far, they need to pull the victim back in. They pushed the lockdowns too hard; they noticed people starting to wake up a bit, or question things; so they start letting people go free for a while. You can travel, you can take off the mask. And then the lockdowns and the restrictions come back. Intermittent reinforcement. Is part of the foundation of the cognitive dissonance. It keeps people very confused.
Dr Fischer: Is it part of the plan? Is it social engineering? Or are they also reacting instinctively to their excesses. It seems very orchestrated.
Ms Miller: It is highly orchestrated. It is a continuation of Nazism. After WWII, America imported hundreds of Nazi scientists, in “Operation Paperclip” [241], and they put them to work in psychiatry, in government organisations. Psychiatry and psychology ended up working in behaviour modification. This became the foundation of all the social media. Social media was a key component in making this work. 10 years ago this didn’t work. They tried the pandemic thing in 2009 and it flopped. Why? The social media was just in its infancy, just starting.
For behaviour modification they use “provocation-reaction-solution”.
- They provoke an emotion. Fear is the most powerful emotion for this.
- That creates an emotional reaction. They make people beg for a solution for that fear.
- The government is happy to provide a “solution”, which is everything they had ready since the beginning.
It has taken decades in the making. Now we are at the vertical part of the curve. It’s happening exponentially fast.
Dr Füllmich: Do you think that as the crisis increases, the people who are sitting on the fence, are they going to close down in fear?
Ms Miller: I’m hopeful that more people will wake up. Unfortunately this is going to intensify. In every abusive relationship the abuse escalates. How’s that these people are never in jail? Because they never admit to the con. Since the beginning of 2020 there’s a massive “gas litting” campaign. “Gas litting” is a distortion of the perception of reality, where a person thinks he’s crazy for questioning the reality being promoted. We see this in the mainstream media, the news, the social media, fact-checking, censorship. The whole narrative is sustained based on this “gas litting” campaign.
The other problem is that we’re going to see an epidemic of mental illness because there will be many people severely traumatised, unable to see reality when it’s revealed to them, they will go into states of mental illness. Dilutional psychosis, is one of them. In this state, they’ll feel there’s no way out, that’s part of the helplessness, so they develop self-destructive habits. It’s like a feedback loop that gets worst and worst. Last year, 600% alcohol sales up, great increase in drug overdoses, increase in suicides. Last year doctors were seeing (what used to be) years of suicide, in one month.
We’re also seeing what this is doing in relationships between people. Driving people further apart, causing polarity, tension between people. When individuals are traumatised, it becomes very difficult to connect with other people, that co-regulation that mammals need to feel safe and social. Trauma is a disconnection. The pandemic plague right now is disconnection. They’re having us disconnected from other people and from ourselves. This gas litting campaign teaches not to trust yourself, and not to trust your perception of reality, not to trust your sense of self and your God-given right to sovereignty.
That’s were the system takes on additional components that the individual in micro relationships doesn’t have. The system develops a cult dynamic. Part of the cult is that your individual identity is sacrificed, usually destroyed through trauma-based mind control. As your individual identity is destroyed, it’s replaced with the group identity. There’re some individuals who have the ability of stepping out of that group identity, and recognise they have the right to think for themselves. They still have the capacity to think for themselves. When you’re in that group enmeshment, it’s terrifying to leave, not intellectually, but at a deep primal level in the brain, because we were programmed biologically for survival that we need the herd to survive. Even if the herd is marching towards the slaughter house, it’s easier to go along, because it’s so difficult to think for yourself, and it’s terrifying to be outcasted. That’s exactly what happens to people who question the abuse. People in cults wake up, and the very basic structure of a cult is an abusive family. If you wake up and start talking of the abuse, you’ll be attacked, you’ll be smeared, hurt, punished. The rest of the group will try to pull you back in.
Dr Fischer: How can people get out of that trance, “cult dynamic”?
Ms Miller: Relentlessly facing the truth. We were programmed to seek social belonging before truth. We will sacrifice the truth, in order to have the social belonging.
Dr Fischer: What if there is a different peer group, where the “grass is greener”? Is that inspirational?
Ms Miller: Usually a person will reject anything that is confronting with their fantasy, what they want to believe about the world. That’s why the victim needs to face the truth, over and other. Victims write a “sobriety list”: Write down everything that person did, from the very beginning of the relationship, that was hurtful, manipulative, abusive. Why? Because as soon as their mind goes back into the denial, or they want to indulge in the fantasy, which they highly invested in, they pull out the list, and start reading these bullet points, of everything that happened, and maybe at some point something clicks their mind and they come back to lucidity. They have to face the truth over and over again. It cannot come from outside. It has to come from inside. It has to be an internal drive. The person has to want to know the truth.
Dr Füllmich: What is the ultimate goal of all of this? We have spoken to former members of the British intelligence. They all agree this is an agenda. This is a huge psy-op. That’s why it took such enormous training and planning. This didn’t happen overnight. It has been planned for, probably, at least, a decade, maybe longer. What is the ultimate goal of what they are doing? Totalitarianism? And that is a result of some people high up in power, or have a lot of money, being afraid that we’re going to find out about them?
Ms Miller: I agree with that. I think the ultimate goal is the control. If you look at a psychopath in a relationship, their goal is control. Maybe extracting other resources. Certainly, money has a lot to do with it, but it is beyond money. Money gives them power and control. Everything that is going on is about control. As long as they can keep control at any cost, no matter how many people they have to get rid of, because it is certainly easier to control a small group of people than a larger group. Control is the ultimate goal. That’s why abuse dynamic works.
Dr Füllmich: So what is the way out for us?
Ms Miller: The way out of the cognitive dissonance is self-responsibility. Each individual takes personal responsibility of their life, and of their choices, and of resolving our own traumas. We have all been born into this world that is founded on trauma. Even birth can be traumatic. We have to take a look and see what are the traumas that we have left unresolved within us, work on healing those, work on taking greater responsibility for our life. Because that self responsibility is the threshold between the victim stage, based on powerlessness, where the great majority of people are right now, to the stage of being a survivor, and being empowered. That’s the hardest threshold to cross.
We, individuals, form the collective. If we heal ourselves, we are producing and contributing to the world around us, even if it’s just our family, and social circle locally. That spreads and becomes something that is healing the world.
A mistake is focusing on changing the world. We have to change us inside. That’s the only thing we have control over.
Dr Fischer: Prof Desmet mentioned that totalitarianism has a tendency to grow wilder as time passes. Why is that? Is it because the abusive part is more obvious to the victim? Is it a self-propelling kind of scheme?
Ms Miller: The controller, the psychopath is kicking the thrill. It’s like a heroine addict. They need more and more to get the same feeling. In an abusive relationship the abuser chases the dragon to get more thrill. It is a very sick addiction that they cannot control. It’s the perversion of needing more, to get the same dope in the head. Also the fear of being found out. The “impostor syndrome”. The “overt” is the most obvious, what we saw in Germany in WWII. The “covert” form is the more sophisticated version. The covert abuser has a deep insecurity, a deep impostor syndrome. They are terrified of being exposed, of being mediocre, unqualified. It’s about maintaining the image they want to create.
Dr Füllmich: The covert version of what happened in the 3rd Reich, yes. It is becoming more and more overt, now. It is escalating, and the other side too is in a panic. Not all of them, maybe. It’s a mix of seeking the thrill, and being afraid. Is that what’s happening?
Ms Miller: I think so. And it is becoming more overt as well. That’s what happens in an abusive relationship. When you’re behind close doors, and there’s no one to see, that’s when they can be more overtly abusive, but when they’re in front of other observers, that’s when they have to be more covert. But over time, that covert abuser does become more overt.
Dr Füllmich: We have a friend in Finland that is friends with someone in the European Parliament. When they meet in private they laugh at how stupid people are. Is that typical?
Ms Miller: Yes. This is when we need to bring in the humility and understand that this is not an intelligence thing. This is the primal part of the brain; the human nervous system is programmed to respond this way to stress, to abuse, to trauma. They’ve known this for decades in the research they’ve done on trauma-based mind control. They’ve done this on the public for a long time. They’ve even used entertainment, Hollywood, to carry these sort of things out. We need to have compassion, but also have boundaries, because that person will attack you. And to connect with people who are living in reality, because that keeps you sane. When you’re trying to escape a cult, even a family that is abusive, you need to have allies outside of that system, who are living in reality, who can validate reality. Because everyone living in that system is living that delusional psychosis, a very distorted reality.
Dr Fischer: what’s going to happen when everything goes down? What’s going to happen to the perpetrators? Are they going to wake up and see what they’ve done, or will they be in denial?
Ms Miller: When abusers are found out, they double down, they play the victim. We use the term “DARVO”: an acronym for “Denial Attack Reverse Victim and Offender”. It means you tell the person this is abusive, they flip it around on you, now you’re the abuser and they’re the victim. We see this in the public dialogue. The media talks about “conspiracy theories” when anyone tries to talk about the truth. They flip it around. They play the victim. I fully expect a lot of these perpetrators to play the victim.
I have the hope that there will be a Nuremberg trial again, and I hope it will be significantly better than the last one, which only brought to trial a small amount of the perpetrators, and then imported the rest of those and installed them in society so they could do significantly more harm over the long term. I hope that we can learn from that. We say “history repeats itself”. It repeats itself because we haven’t learned. It is the macro version of what happens at the individual level. The individuals repeat the trauma because they are seeking help to relieve the trauma, but they are doing it unconsciously repeating the same traumas. That’s what’s happening to society. We’re repeating the same traumas.
I truly hope, because the level of this trauma is so big, involving the entire world at the same time, I hope that the magnitude of that would be equivalent of an awakening potential, of the possibility of ending this legacy of trauma, tragedy, abuse, and violence, that we’ve been repeating for so many generations, so that we can make different choices and create a different future with a much better potential for humanity.
I think this is a turning point. It’s a make or break. We’re either going full down that road of totalitarianism, until, I don’t know what the end would be of that: some sort of mass disaster. It’s already disastrous, I think it can get significantly worst. Or, we’re going to choose at some point, collectively, because enough individuals are making the internal choice in their personal life, a different path, making different choices. And that’s the harder decision, because the easy road is just to go, to follow the herd and not thinking, not change, and certainly not heal the trauma, because that’s challenging and painful. It’s easier just to numb it out, to find distractions, escapism, which of course, they’re providing for us. They’re providing plenty of distractions for people over many decades, but specially in the last decade. There’s so much distraction with the Internet of Things, and now they want to bring out the “miniverse”, the virtual reality, so that, when reality is so horrible, instead of facing that and resolving it, and dealing with it, and confronting it, people escape into the fantasy.
Dr Füllmich: We should make them understand that real life is much better than the fantasy.
- One of the things that prof. Desmet explained to us was that totalitarianism is self-destructive. Sooner or later, it will self-destruct. The question is how much damage would they be able to do to us before they self-destroy. Nobody knows, but it is going on right now. It is getting crazier, and more overt. I have the hope that more people like us come to their senses.
- About 40% of the people are sitting on the fence, not knowing which way to go. That group is still approachable and more people will begin to ask questions, which will ultimately turn the tide.
- Some people say that it’s enough if 3.5% to 10% of the population realise what’s going on. It is important to have those who can make rational decisions on our side. I have a feeling that those who have fallen victim to this narrative are those who revert into “infantilisation”. They don’t want to grow up. They want to keep listening to someone telling them what to do. This group of people cannot be approached by us, but, I hate to say, it’s not really important. Those who are willing to think outside of the box, and who are willing to question authority, are the ones who, in the long run, are going to make the difference. And those are the ones on our side already, and many more will join.
Ms Miller: There’s no convincing the group of people who are in the abusive relationship to see reality, because they don’t want to see it. That infantilisation process has been happening for a long time in society. A lot of people look to the government, to the state, as “mummy and daddy”, to protect them. That’s a fantasy. That’s not real. It’s unfortunate. But there are those who have the more functional adult capacity in their brain to say “no, I need to take responsibility to rescue myself, to provide for myself, to provide for my family, because the government is not going to do that; that’s not their job. “
Dr Füllmich: So that’s what it boils down to: infantilisation vs self-responsibility.
Dr Fischer: It’s also rough ride for them. Once it becomes more obvious for some people, because it’s so extreme, they’re risking a lot of things, everything. For them, as well, it’s a game of life or death. They’ll be socially destroyed.
Ms Miller: At what cost? Even though the totalitarian system will implode, just like every abusive relationship, but at what cost? At what cost to the individuals, to society, to human life?
Dr Vivian Miller: It’s about time that it collapses.
Ms Miller: We’re not even in the post-trauma phase yet. We have not even begun to see the long-term effects of what already happened to this point. Specially among the children, this is going to have severe long-term repercussions. The post-trauma of this is going to require a lot of healing. Even if it is just ended suddenly now, today, no more damage. There’s still significant trauma to work through.
Dr Füllmich: It can only get better.
Ms Miller: That’s true about trauma. It is both destructive, and awakening. Trauma destroys the sense of normality. People can never go back to where they were before the trauma. We, as a society, will never go back to what we used to call “normal”. It’s gone, for good. We need to moan that; part of the trauma is the grieving process. It’s gone now.
But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Now the awakening of the trauma, allows us to create something better, something new, reaching new potential that perhaps we wouldn’t have contacted within ourselves individually, or even as a society, until that trauma took place. So it comes with both, a curse, and a blessing.
Dr Füllmich: I can certainly see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Ms Miller: I agree, and I hope it happens soon.
Dr Fischer: It’s a collective trauma, both good and bad at the same time. Collective healing with other traumatised people could be a good thing. It could speed up things.
Ms Miller: That co-regulation helps us to heal the trauma. A child who had someone near them to hug them may never have a severe post-trauma. Whereas the child who was left alone, abandoned, that child is going to have severe trauma. If we connect with others, other people are there, see the same reality, feel the same emotion, we process this grief together, we connect together. This is a very healing thing that can be done. The challenge for so many people today is that they feel alone. That’s the whole purpose of this, the isolation, because isolation is necessary for abuse to take place. So many people see the truth, see reality, but they feel alone because very few people can see it. That’s part of the traumatisation.
So is amazing the work you are doing, to bring people together. To connect everybody who’s seeing this thing so we don’t feel so alone.
Dr Füllmich: We’re all playing our part in this game. And we’re trying to take over the lead roles. You are, we are, all of the good people who are interested in the good of mankind. We don’t pretend, we mean it. Because if we didn’t, we wouldn’t do this.